Roses by Moonlight
by Vaudevillian
Summary: D/H Hitomi lost the will to live. After four hard years away from gaea her mother forewarns her of a visitor. A goddess. A goddess who is willing to show hitomi her choices for the future through enchanted roses... leading hitomi to a surprising discover


cha! dss here.... this here is a litto oneshot ficcy i made after reading a book of enchantments by Patricia E. wrede. She created the whole roses by moonlight story, I'm just using the idea to make a fic outta it... ^-^ feh! I just came back from the anime expo so I HAAD to write a ficcy, i also got a poster signed by the maker of Esca!!! unfortunately i didnt win the raffle so i didnt get a sig from the maker of rurouni kenshin... v_v.. theres always next year! I dont really excpect this to land more then 2 review... ^_^ but i would kill myself if i didnt post it..

disclaimer- I dont own the idea or escaflowne

"Love is blind, and it will take over your mind."

~ Eve "Love is blind"

Roses by Moonlight

Hitomi briskly walked outside of the stuffy confinements of the household and into the crisp night air. The crickets were alive and noisy, and the moonlight made the grass glow. Hitomi needed to let go. The world as she knew it was ending. Dropping out of college was little comparison to her anorexia problem.

The quietness deafened her. Soothing sounds of the night could not comfort her restless soul. Nor could the nicotine. She grew impatient, her mother told her to wait out here yet she herself showed no sign of coming out. The gently wind tugged at her jacket forcing her to wrap it around herself tighter. She looked up at the moon almost seeing the outline of another distant planet...

By the time she started her second cigarette her mother finally came out and stood next to her. The two women stood in the driveway of there small house, Hitomi leaning back on the bumper of there old battered car.

_She's probably here to tell me to do something with my life_, Hitomi thought.

Hitomi held out her cigarette packet to her mother, she was more then happy to accept one. Her fingers were shaking and she nearly dropped it twice before finaly lighting it. They puffed in silence for a few minutes. Hitomi began to enjoy the quiet, any second now her mother would give her the "life lecture".... _your going no where, you should at least get a job if your not going back to college! Eat more, your just skin and bones! Where did I go wrong parenting you Hitomi? Where?_

"Hitomi," she began," I know your having a hard time..." Hitomi let out an exasperated sigh and tapped her cigarette until the ashes hit the floor. "Hitomi, one of my close friends is going to come here tonight... she... uh... would like to show you something of hers." This attracted her attention. " I just want to give you one word of advice, Please look before deciding. There are so much more _possibilities_." For some reason Hitomi saw her mother find that remark humorous.

"I'm just trying to say, there are more than what you might see. I got the very first dream that came, a healthy family, a good house, a steady job, but Hitomi, I want you to do so much more in your life. "

Hitomi started her third cigarette. She could finish the pack if her mom kept on going like this. What the hell was she talking about anyway? _She probably had to much to drink..._ Hitomi's mother leaned over and kissed her daughters cheek. She headed back inside leaving Hitomi to the night once again. She stole a glance at her watch. The numbers glowed _11:58_. _This person better come quickly, its getting late..._

_11:59_

_What happened to the crickets?_ All noise and motion had stopped. The cool breeze halted and the nocturnal animals froze in place. The whole world was at a stand still....

_12:00_

The goddess entered.

Her mother's friend had come. A goddess by all means. Her hair was the color of moonlight, her eyes were a raging fire. Her marble colored skin was perfect, no scars, no unwanted hair, no pimple or blemish in site. Luminous white wings emerge from her back. She was beautiful to a fault. Almost _too_ beautiful. She was old yet young. She had been there at earths creation and has visited the future and seen its destruction. Hitomi felt like a scrawny dirty homeless girl next to the goddess. When the goddess spoke she did not move her lips the earth was still quiet, but her voice made trees tremble. 

// you have been waiting//

"Not very long..."

// you knew i would come//

"Mother told me"

//she remembered//

"It must be hard to forget a goddess like yourself."

Hitomi shook of the goddess, feeling the stab of jealousy. She returned her gaze to the moon and the shadow of a distant planet almost directly under it...

// you think of gaea//

Hitomi turned her head astonished. _She's a goddess, of coarse she can read my thoughts._

//my sister created gaea, a jealous attempt to rival my own creation. her people, however, aren't nearly as smart technology wise//

//come, lets walk through the roses//

" Mom doesn't grow roses, she says they're to hard to handle and they end up dieing anyway. Besides, no roses grow this time of winter.

//your mother has humor in her yet. come. i will show you my personal grove//

When the goddess moved it was one gently fluid motion. She did not walk, she glided. She moved toward the house and stopped near the tree that separated the front lawn from the backyard. Hitomi tried to stop her, tried to explain there where no roses this time of year. The goddess ignored her and instead motioned for her to follow. Hitomi reluctantly walked next to her. WALKED not GLIDED. Ah! The side effects of being mortal...

The goddess pulled back a low hanging branch and nudged Hitomi in. What she saw left her mouth hanging open. Instead of her familiar yard Hitomi stood in the middle of a vast rose grove. She seemed to be staning in a main court yard which led to two more hallways. Roses wild and domestic grew of every fence, every wall, every bush. Roses in every color of the rainbow. 

This was impossible. Maybe she had had to many cigarettes and passed out in the driveway. Yes, that was it. Everything here was a dream. Wasn't it? Her backyard didn't have roses and it was NEVER this big. The goddess couldn'y be real either. She defied every religion known to man. 

//welcome to my grove. you may choose one rose and one rose only. but be careful, they are very delicate. you wouldnt want to pick one you dont want// 

Hitomi laughed. No. this was real. Her mother and this lady must have put together a big prank. This was probably her mother's _NEW _life lecture.

//this is no joke hitomi. this decides your fate//

Just to humor "the goddess" Hitomi leaned over and inhaled the scent of a pink rose. The results were shocking. A vision began to take her over...... 

_ A man with tea colored skin and unruly black hair watched over Hitomi at the dinner table, clutching her motionless hand. Outside the Fanelian kingdom shone, alive and thriving. Hitomi sat there, the complete opposite, staring at the food on her plate in disgust. Over the past few weeks she just gave up eating. Gave up the will to live. Her fingernails cut into her palm making a thin streak of blood fall onto the table. She looked like a skeleton. Fanelians were afraid of their queen. Gently laying her head on the table she felt the effects of starvation taking over. Death stood next to her his hand on her sleeve...._

Hitomi drew back sharply. "What the fuck just happened!?"

// i didnt think you wanted that one//

"What the hell is this?"

//my roses show possibilities of the future. the rose you choose decides your fate//

"ITS NOT LIKE THAT! I don't want to die!"

//possibilities. nothing more.//

Hitomi stod in shock. This wasn't fake. This was not some joke, this decided the rest of her life. She continued walking further in. The next wall towered above her. Every centimeter covered with a rose. There was barely enough room for leaves. Hitomi found a miniscule lilac colored rose hidden behind a gigantic yellow one. She gave a small sniff.....

_'HITOMI! What is going on? You've built a wall between us!' Van cried desperately. Hitomi had finished packing her bags and took it in her arms. 'What is going on? Dont you love me anymore?' Hitomi let out a soft sigh and placed her crown on the table._

_'I have met someone else.'_

_'It cant be him'_

_'Whats wrong with him?'_

_'HE IS A BASTARD! Hitomi, please, say you dont love him... say you love ME!'_

_'Im sorry Van but I cant keep Dilandau waiting..............'_

Hitomi screamed aloud. "DILANDAU! OH MY GOD! I LEAVE VAN FOR DILANDAU!"

//plausible//

"NO! it isn't. What the hell is he even doing in there! Why is everything about Gaea anyway? I haven't been there in FIVE YEARS and im perfectly FINE."

//are you?//

Hitomi hesitated.

//my roses show whats on your mind right now, on another night there might be completely different options.//

//you must have been thinking about van and dilandau a lot tonight//

"Don't get any ideas," hitomi stated flatly, shaking her head. _dilanadu? what the hell...._

The last vision left her a little woozy. She fell to her knees and grabbed her head. _why? Why bring back gaea after all these years? Haven't i cried enough? Isn't my anorexia enough to show I can be just as pretty as Millerna or Eries. _

_//_you brought up gaea hitomi. you brought back memories.//

_why do they all show me back there?_

// Some things are to late to change//

_so I have to go back_

//.................................//

_fuck you_

Hitomi forced herself up. She would not show this goddess she was week. She regained self control and brought herself to the roses once again. The goddess never took her eyes off of her. Always watching in her patient solitude. A large inoccent white blossom attracted her eye.....

_Hitoi layed in the hospital cot, taking light shallow breaths. And IV tube came out of her hand. Her eyes weren't open but she could hear her brother next to her saying.._

_'Kuso...kuso...kuso...kuso.....'_

_His hot tears splashed onto her arm._

_'Why? hitomi? why couldnt you just quit smoking?'........_

no.

Definitely NO.

"So," hitomi said, refusing to look at the goddess's perfect body, "Basically I've screwed myself. I'm as good as dead... Oh yes, and if not that there's always _DILANDAU._ For christ sake..."

//you are not like the others//

"Yup thats me, Hitomi, The psycho bitch with anorexia."

Hitomi tried every flower on that wall. They showed her becoming a queen, an actress, a teacher, a mother, a hooker, a doctor, and so much more. They showed her in a relationship with Van, Allen, Dryden, Celena, Merle and a few other people she had never seen before in her life. But they all showed Gaea. It was inerasable. Gaea was to be in her future.

//would you like to try another hallway?//

"Yes... I think I'd like that."

now... left or right?

_eenie meenire miny moe......._

right.

Nearly all the roses in this hallway where white. Inoccent, evil, devilish white... all but one. One single red rose. A red rose in the middle of a forest of white. Red had always been her favorite color. She slowly leaned in and inhaled its intoxicating fumes......

_Hitomi stood before her former gaean friends. Van stared at her, his eyes shone with hate and hurt. ' Go home Hitomi, your not wanted here._

_'But van I-'_

_'LEAVE'_

_Hitomi turned away cape swishing in the breeze. Why had she done that? She regretted ever telling van her story. He didn't understand. He never would. But it WAS the TRUTH, whether he liked it or not. I wont get mad my ass. So what if she was exiled from Fanelia? There was all of gaea left for her. It didn't matter, nother mattered to her but a certain silver haired man waiting for her in the forest. AS she entered the thick wood a hand reached out and oulled her close to a tall body. She threw herself onto him and into a passionate kiss,......_

" Yuck..." Hitomi said in disgust, " HE is there again."

_that kiss..._Hitomi shuddered. She remembered the last time Dilandau had kissed her like that...

//you obviously have feelings for him//

" No I don't. What happened that one night was... it was..."

//yes?//

" He never really cared about me," Hitomi said eyes filling with tears.

" I was just his play... thing!"

//van said that//

" Yes, avn said that. And Vam does not lie."

// did _HE_ say that//

" no..."

//Then why believe van?//

" Because I LOVE HIM_ "_

To keep herself from further discussion with the goddess Hitomi threw her face into the roses once again, not bothering to see which rose she was smelling....

_ Van had welcomed Hitomi in with open arms but she told him she couldnt stay long. What they needed to do was have a looong talk. She sat on the edge of his gigantic bed sinking into his downey filled blanket. It was so comfortable she wanted to fal back and sleep for a thousand years.... Hitomi took a deep breath._

_' Van, do you remember what happened _that DAY _five years ago? During my first trip to gaea... when _IT_ happened. The day zaibach had captured me.'_

_Van turned a few shades paler. _

_'Surely you dont mean...'_

_'Yes, Van, you know what happened'_

_'What of it? He's gone now! celena-'_

_'I love him van... and dont be so sure he's gone. Ask celena and she-_

_'HE is a SHE now!'_

_'So i've heard.'_

_Van took a seat next to Hitomi. She could hear his quick breathing. _HE_ breathed a completely different way. She remembered lying on his chest, her head going up and down to the rythm of his deep slow breathing._

_'What happened that day hitomi?'_

_'I cant say'_

_'Please,' Van gave her his best puppy face, ' I wont get mad'_

_Hitomi closed her eyes and sighed._

_ 'I was dragged in by a dragonslayer, Gatti was his name I think... I had practcly given up all hope of rescue and was to tired to put up a fight. They dragged me to Dornkirk. The old bastard threatened me to talk, but I remained silent, after a while he grew tired of me, i guess, so he threw me in the dungeon._

_ ' I still remember the way my cell stank of rotting bodies. Mice skittered across the floor eating dead bugs and such and such. The air was humid, and it was difficult to breath. And I remember.... i remember seeing pieces of broken glass on the floor. There was no other way out. My one escape tool was the razor sharp piece of glass i held to my wrist._

_ 'I had barely made an incision when his voice stopped me. He stood there at my cell with his face pressed between the bars, his natural arrogant grace all to familiar. I could hear him clicking his tongue before he reprimanded me._

_ "suicide is a cowards way out."_

_ "I have no other way out"_

_ " oh?"'_

_ ' I still remember the way his hair framed his face perfectly, i memorized every sweat drop falling off of his face. He was handsome, and the scar on his cheek... it just enhanced his whole appeal..._

_ 'Youre the psychic bitch that gave me all this trouble'_

_ ' Youre the pyro bastard that keeps on trying to kill me'_

_I remember the way he laughed me off, like nothing I said would ever hurt him in any way. Which was rather true._

_ 'You fascinate me,' He said._

_ ' I do?'_

_ ' I've been watching you, you know'_

_The glass I was holding cut into my skin causing a pool of blood to fall to the floor. _

_ 'Hitomi Kanzaki, what are we going to do with you..."_

_He opened the cell doors. And held out his hand. It was him or suicide. So either way I figured I would die. I followed him as he led the way to freedom..._

_well..._

_a sort of freedom..._

_He led me to his room. And the rest of the night we...uhm... how to put it...we....'_

_ 'STOP' Van yelled , ' JUST STOP!'_

_' Im sorry..'_

_'Sorry isn't good enough'..._

Hitomi pulled back from the flower. That night. The night she tried so hard to forget, which would have remained hidden in her mind if she had never smelled that rose. 

//you have chosen//

"Yes, I think, I might have.." Hitomi rested her hand on the rose but she could not bring herself to pick it. She waited there for a while trying to tell herself to just take the best option. When her hand came down there was no rose in it. The goddess lifted a silvery eyebrow.

_silver hair..._

//changed your mind?//

" I've decided I dont like any of the chosen today."

// only one trip to my garden is permitted//

"Then I'll just live my life day by day like normal people."

The goddess smiled. The first and last sign of emotion ever displayed on her pale face. Her fiery eyes sparkled.

//you are wise beyond your years//

Hitomi headed for the exit and shrugged the goddess off again. She was rather happy she didn't look like her. The goddess really was _too_ perfect. Infact her face was rather _BORING_... And who wanted to glide when you could run, sprint, jump. And living forever meant to many goodbyes, to many lost friends. Hitomi smiled brilliantly at the goddess, and in that one moment, Hitomi was more beautiful then the goddess would ever be.

"I get it from my mom" 

Hitomi stepped out of the grove and into her normal front yard. When she looked behind her everything had disappeared. There was no sign of a rose, or a goddess. There was only a girl who had found the will to go on. Hitomi headed inside, the crinkling plastic reminded hitomi of her cigarettes. She pulled the packet out of her pocket. 

_I need to throw these away_.

She stared at her watch. _12:01_

OPening the packet she found half of the canister filled. 

_It would be such a waste to throw them away..._

_Tomorrow._

_Tomorrow I'll throw the cigarettes away._

_Tomorrow I'll talk to Van._

_Tomorrow...._


End file.
